Interviewer
by Belldere
Summary: In which an Interviewer asks various Harry Potter characters questions. Primarily a humour driven fic where each chapter is unrelated to one another and the poor Interviewer may not always get what they bargained for...
1. Chapter 1

Interviewer: So what do you really think of Draco Malfoy?

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Lavender: Vile. Absolutely disgusting. A real slimy Slytherin... with great hair.

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Parvati: I'm not going to lie; I'd eat pudding off his chest.

.

Hermione: Ginny says he's a Viking in the sack.

Ron: WHAT?!

Hermione: I'm joking Ronald.

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Draco: Oh Merlin is that really what you're asking? What has everyone else said?

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Ron: Stupid ferrety arse. I swear if he's touched my sister I'll murder him.

.

Harry: What's this I've heard about Ginny and Vikings? I thought we were talking about Malfoy?

Interviewer: We were... so what's your take?

Harry: Er Malfoy's ok... well he is now anyway.

Interviewer: What do you think of the allegations that Draco and your fiancé Ginny have had a romantic relationship?

Harry: ...What?

.

Luna: Does anyone know why Harry seems to be choking Draco? Maybe he has a few extra strong nargles in his head. That's nice of Harry to get rid of them.

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Ginny: How come everyone in the waiting room is having a punch up?

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Pansy: Hot. I've told him so too but he still won't sleep with me. What the hell is going on out there?

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Ginny: Seriously what are they fighting about?

Ron (from a distance): Cut his hands off!

Ginny: Oh Merlin.

.

Astoria: I'm not sure how I feel... he was a humungous jerk at school, an awfully cute jerk, but still a jerk... maybe if he were a bit nicer…

.

Seamus: Have you seen what's going on out there? It's insane! Harry and Ron are trying to kill Malfoy, Hermione and Ginny are trying to stop them pounding his face in, Parkinson's running round in circles screaming and everyone else is either yelling at each other or unconscious. It's bloody hilarious. Oh there goes Dean, better back him up.

.

George: I used to daydream about punching him in the face, and I gotta say it was just as excellent as I imagined it would be, but I guess the little twerp isn't so bad now.

Interviewer: When did you punch him in the face?

George: Just now.

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Ginny: I DID NOT, NOR WILL I EVER, SLEEP WITH DRACO MALFOY! Geez Harry, you're dumber than I thought. I'm not sure if I want to marry someone this stupid.

Harry: You know you love me.

Ginny: I suppose, just a little. So what was the original question?

Interviewer: What do you really think of Draco Malfoy?

Ginny: Well ever since he stopped being a prat, he's a pretty good guy *glances at Harry*... ugly though.

Harry: *Smiles*


	2. Chapter 2

Interviewer: Marauders, Describe Lily Evan's in Three Words.

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James: Can I use 'love of my life'?

Remus: *sigh* that's four words James.

Sirius: Idiot.

James: Shut up Padfoot. Fine then... Beautiful, brilliant, brutal.

.

Remus: Er... Intelligent, nice, strong.

Sirius: Suck up.

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Peter: Um. Intimidating, smart, scary.

Sirius: Wimp... well actually you might be right there mate...

Remus: So that'd make you wrong Sirius?

Sirius: I'm never wrong.

James: *snort* Yeah and you're not roommates with a werewolf.

.

Sirius: Excellent right hook.


	3. Chapter 3

Interviewer: James, what would you say if I told you your son kills Voldemort?

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James: No way! The Wizarding World is letting me have kids!

Remus: Two of James? Merlin help us all... wait did you say he 'kills Voldemort?'

Sirius: That's not fair! If James gets to have kids then I want one too. A mini me would be cool, I need a little minion.

Remus: Let me get this straight... he KILLS Voldemort?! Am I the only one who was listening to the question?!

Peter: I think James' son would be cool like him.

James: You got that right Peter! Wait... who's the mum? Is it Lily?! I bet it's Lily! YES! This is awesome!

Remus: *sigh* James is skipping around the Common Room now.

Sirius: *yells* It won't be Lily she hates you! *whispers*Crap if it's Lily we're going to have to try really hard to corrupt this kid.

Remus: And nobody listens to Moony again... what a surprise.


	4. Chapter 4

Interviewer: So Harry is there any truth to the rumours that you and Draco Malfoy are an item?

.

Harry: Wait... what?!

Ron: HA! I always knew there was something going on. You could do better man.

Hermione: Ronald!

Harry: Of course there's nothing going on! We're at each other's throats half the time!

Ron: So are me and Hermione.

Harry: This is completely different! We're enemies. Enemies fight.

Ron: Sure Harry, you just keep denying your looooooove.

Hermione: If you two will stop being idiots for five minutes-

Ron: *singing* Harry loves Malfoy, Harry loves Malfoy.

Harry: This is completely mad. I'm going to bed.

Ron: Remember to hang a sign on the door if Malfoy decides to 'Slytherin'!

Hermione: I am NOT going to high-five you Ron.


	5. Chapter 5

Interviewer: Tell me about your brother.

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Fred: We're as thick as thieves.

George: Yeah he's thick and he steals my stuff.

Fred: I never stole your stuff!

George: You're wearing my underwear!

Fred: *checks label* Would you look at that, I am... you name your underwear?

George: So do you!

Fred: How do you know?

George: Cause I'm wearing them.

Fred: O_O That makes sense... Hey, I'm not thick!

George: *chuckles* you keep telling yourself that bro.


	6. Chapter 6

Interviewer: Lily why do you hate James so much?

.

Lily: I wouldn't say I hate James... more like if he were on fire and I had a glass of water, I'd drink the water.

James: You don't hate me? Does that mean there's a chance of Jily?!

Sirius: What in the name of Merlin's saggy left nut is Jily?

James: Our celebrity combo name!

Remus: You were serious about that? I thought you were trying to be funny!

Sirius: You know that you're out of your mind right?

James: Nope! It's Jily all the way. So how about it Lily? You, me, Hogsmeade this weekend? *winks*

Lily: Sure! I'll date you... when Satan ice-skates to work.

Peter: You're going to need a really big freezer James…


	7. Chapter 7

Interviewer: What would you all say if I said that one of you would eventually betray the rest of you?

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James: I'd say you're a liar. None of my friends would ever do anything like that.

Sirius: Well I don't know about betrayal... but James would definitely sell my soul for a brownie.

James: No I wouldn't!

Sirius: Yes you would!

James: No I wouldn't!

Sirius: Yes you would!

James: No I wouldn't!

Sirius: Yes you would!

James: No I wouldn't!

Sirius: Yes you would!

James: No I wouldn't!

Sirius: Yes you would!

James: No I wouldn't!

Sirius: Yes you would!

James: Actually now you mention it I could really go for a brownie right now.

Remus: *sigh* James is now asking if anyone in the common room would like to trade a brownie for Sirius.

Peter: I didn't know that many girls had brownies in their purses.

* * *

**A/N Unfortunately this is based off of a conversation with one of my friends... I may have been sold for a brownie that day...**


	8. Chapter 8

Interviewer: What's the stupidest lie you've ever gotten away with?

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Sirius: I once convinced a Death Eater that he couldn't kill me because I was him from the past and if he killed me he wouldn't exist anymore. Idiot.

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Lee: I conned Fred and George into thinking that I was the ghost of Rowena Ravenclaw trapped in a teenaged boys' body. Got a few uncomfortable questions out of that one but they believed me… for a minute there at least.

.

Remus: Once, in second year, I managed to get James to believe that he was a werewolf. He completely believed me too. Funniest thing that's ever happened with my condition.

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Ron: I told this Snatcher that I was a famous Russian Unicorn hunter and that I was on a super-secret mission in the UK to find the ones that had broken into the country. I swear they just got dumber and dumber every day.

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Katie: I got Oliver to believe that I couldn't go to Quidditch practice because I had 'Wooditis' which I described as being unable to touch anything made of wood that was enchanted to fly. Fred and George loved borrowing that one.

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Harry: I once got Ron to think that if he ate too much chicken in the muggle world, his skin would turn into daisies. I'm not sure if I should be happy for me, or sad for him that he bought it...

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Tonks: I convinced Charlie that he could fly. Molly gave me a right talking to when he jumped out the second story window at the Burrow. Worth it.

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James: I told Lily that if she kissed me I'd burst into flames. Best first kiss ever!

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Lily: I let James believe that he fooled me into thinking I'd believed his 'burst into flames' kiss bull. That's my boyfriend, gorgeous but stupid.

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Percy: I don't lie… ok once I told a little fib to the Hungarian Prime Minister about a certain antique lampshade being stolen by invisible leprechauns. He believed me but I felt awful… ok I didn't! His face was just too funny. I'm sorry!

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Hermione: I may have told Ginny that Harry knows all the words to all the songs in Phantom of the Opera. He's still trying to convince her he doesn't know them.

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Severus: I once convinced the entire wizarding world that I was loyal to the Dark Lord. Insufferable fools.


	9. Chapter 9

Interviewer: What, in your opinion, do you think Sirius' biggest mistake was?

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Sirius: Well honestly I think it was when I made friends with the ugliest and stupidest git in our year... seriously James take the mask off Halloween's over.

James: Oh ha ha. Very clever. *grins evilly* But definitely not your biggest mistake.

Remus: I would have thought THAT was when you directed Severus right to me during a full moon. *glares*

Sirius: Sorr-

James: No my dear Moony what I'm talking about was even worse than that... well for Sirius anyway.

Peter: What was it then?

James: Well... this one time, at Quidditch camp-

Sirius: *tackles James to the floor*

Remus: And Sirius is now choking James... again.

Peter: So just a normal Wednesday then?


	10. Chapter 10

Interviewer: What would you do if James died tomorrow?

.

Remus: Don't say that... please don't.

James: Aw. Will wittle Moony miss mwe?

Remus: *forced chuckle* No... I'm just thinking about how crap the music at your funeral is going to be if we have to take it out of your collection.

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Peter: James can die?

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Sirius: You're mum's hot.

James: WHAT?! Ew gross! What the hell man?!

Sirius: Just thought you should know.

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James: You know you all love me. *grins* I know exactly what would happen if I died tomorrow Peter would be all lost, Remus would go all reclusive or try to find justice if, y'know, someone offed me and Sirius would go bat-shit insane and try to kill whatever or whoever it was that killed me.

Sirius: You got that right... please don't die.


	11. Chapter 11

Interviewer: Lily, I know you have little to no tolerance for Sirius Black but what do you think about his brother, Regulus?

.

Lily: Oh he's a cutie, and, from what I've seen of him, always very polite.

Sirius: you're barking up the wrong tree there Lil.

Lily: What?

Sirius: I'm pretty sure Regulus plays for the other team.

Lily: So… he's gay?

Sirius: Wha-? No, I meant he's on Voldemort's side.

Lily: Oh.

Sirius: But now you mention it, he does spend A LOT of time with Jake Mason.

Lily: So? You spend a lot of time with Potter, doesn't mean you're together.

Sirius: How do you know we're not?

Lily:...

Sirius:...

Lily:...

Sirius:...

Lily:...

Sirius:...

Lily: Touché.

James: WHAT THE HELL SIRIUS?!


	12. Chapter 12

Interviewer: What's the most disgusting thing you've ever found in your room?

.

Sirius: I once found a Slytherin in my bed.

Remus: Sirius! That's not very nice.

Sirius: It was Glenda Taze.

James: The girl that tried to steal your underwear to make a life sized sculpture of your face-?

Sirius: Yup.

Peter: The one who came to your house and-?

Sirius: That's the one.

Remus: *shudder* never mind.

.

Peter: Once the chocolate Remus hides under my bed melted and flooded all over my things.

Remus: Er… sorry about that.

James: So that's where you hide it!

Remus: Hands off Potter unless you want to lose them.

Sirius: And I thought I was the aggressive one.

Remus: I don't care what you do... just don't touch my chocolate or, make no mistake, I will hex you into next week.

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Remus: I have to say the grossest thing I've found was an old half eaten piece of peanut butter toast that Sirius had tossed onto my side of the room... unfortunately I found it by stepping on it.

Sirius: Hehe that was pretty funny.

Remus: It's not funny! I wasn't wearing any shoes!

Sirius: You're right, it wasn't funny… it was hilarious. *laughs*

James: Been there Moony.

.

James: I gotta say Sirius' whole quarter of the room is pretty bad, even by my standards. He ate a taco while sitting on my bed once and didn't tell me he dropped half of it until after I'd laid down in it.

Sirius: Oh stop being such a baby it was only a little bit.

Remus: Whole bed?

James: Yeah.

Remus: Thought so.

Sirius: Shut up.


	13. Chapter 13

Interviewer: So Ron, what would you most like to do at this very moment?

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Ron: *looks furtively at Hermione* Erm. I'd quite like to push that ugly old pink toad off the Astronomy Tower.

Hermione: Ron! You can't do that!

Harry: Yeah she might fall and hurt somebody!


	14. Chapter 14

Interviewer: So Sirius, if you had to pick, who would be your least favourite family member?

.

Sirius: Wow that's a tough one... I despise my mother with the fire of a thousand suns... but I'd have to go with old Smelly Belly. That nutcase has been trying to kill me since I set her on fire when I was nine.

Remus: Was it on purpose?

Sirius: Yup.

James: Got a heart as black as her teeth, that one.


	15. Chapter 15

Interviewer: Who comes up with most of your pranks?

.

James: Well me and Sirius usually come up with the rough plans but it's Remus who's the real mastermind.

Sirius: Yeah he may act all nice and mild-mannered and 'good' but he's actually pure evil.

Remus: What are you talking about Sirius? I'm not evil.

Sirius: Then how do you explain all that pudding in my bed that dropped all over me when I closed my curtains?

Remus: A lot of people are out to get you Sirius. It could have been any one of them.

Sirius: *sighs* Fine, sorry, I believe you *leaves*

James: You did it didn't you?

Remus: Yup.

James: He's never going to find out is he?

Remus: Nope.

Peter: That's a bit harsh.

Remus: He shouldn't have stolen my pudding at dinner.


	16. Chapter 16

Interviewer: What is one thing you've learnt during your late night wanderings?

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Peter: How to get detentions?

Sirius: Especially when you try to flirt your way out of them... yeah, don't do that.

.

James: Don't piss off the acromantula, just don't, it's a bad idea.

Remus: You have to admit it was sort of funny until they tried to eat you.

Sirius: Yeah, then it was hilarious.

.

Sirius: Werewolves don't corner well.

Remus: Yeah thanks for that by the way, I had a headache for a week.

.

Remus: That James is faster than he looks, and he WILL leave you behind if you get caught.

James: It also helps to trip Sirius beforehand, just to make sure.


	17. Chapter 17

Interviewer: So how did you all end up becoming friends?

.

Peter: Luck.

Remus: Yes, how DID I end up with such stupid friends?

Sirius: It's an occupational hazard.

James: You spend ninety percent of your day with us what did you think would happen? Especially with Sirius trying to force himself on you. *evil grin*

Sirius: What?!

Remus: Don't be stupid James… Sirius is far too in love with himself.

Sirius: Of course I am! What's not to love? I'm perfect.

James: You keep telling yourself that mate.


	18. Chapter 18

Interviewer: So what did you say to Ron and Hermione after everything calmed down after the war?

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Harry: Well I said 'looks like I'm gunna be the third wheel now'.

Ron: And I said 'Harry please, you've been the third wheel since third year'. Then I snogged Hermione. It was a good time for me.

Hermione: Oh shut up Ron.


	19. Chapter 19

Interviewer: Sirius, how do you manage to look so attractive all the time?

.

Sirius: *grins* Natural good looks, confidence, general awesomeness... oh, and inbreeding. *winks creepily*


	20. Chapter 20

Interviewer: So Dean, what were you thinking when Voldemort announced that only Slytherin would survive as a house if he had won the war?

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Dean: To be honest I had a bit of a concussion and couldn't stop thinking things like 'well that'd make the house cup boring' or 'there won't be enough room in the dungeons for everyone, people will have to 'Slytherin' to each other's' beds'. Even just imagining the sorting at the start of the year set me off. It was pretty bad because my concussion made all these thoughts seem hilariously funny and I almost burst out laughing right then and there. I've never been scared of Ron before but I gotta say, after he saw me smiling, I'm going to be sleeping with my bedroom door locked for a while now...


	21. Chapter 21

Interviewer: Would you ever date a Slytherin?

.

James: Is Lily in Slytherin?

Interviewer: No.

James: I think you just answered your own question.

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Peter: *gulp* Um... no I don't think any of them would take- I mean no. Just no.

.

Remus: Hahahahaha. No. If I even dated, which I don't because of my... problem, I'm not stupid enough to try and get a girlfriend in Slytherin, the arch enemy of Gryffindor. That's just asking to get beaten up.

Interviewer: What if you weren't a werewolf?

Remus: No, absolutely not... well, maybe if I really liked her... Giselle's pretty... No.

.

Sirius: Sure I'd be up for anything. Let me know when you figure out which ones aren't related to me.


	22. Chapter 22

Interviewer: If you could punch anyone in the face, with no consequences, who would it be?

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Sirius: Dumbledore.

Remus: Sirius!

James: Dude what the hell?!

Sirius: Come on! Give me a break. No one's ever done it before, or would, so it'd be cool.

James: You always have to do everything first.

Remus: Idiot.

.

Remus: *Nervous smile* Voldemort.

Peter: W-What?

James and Sirius: Go Moony!

James: That's awesome.

Sirius: Knew I was friends with you for a reason.

.

Peter: *mumbling* Sirius.

Sirius: What?!

James: That's fantastic.

Remus: Good choice.

Sirius: Traitor!

.

James: Hard to narrow it down to one... although I do dream of whacking Malfoy with his pimpstick.

Peter: *groan*

Remus: Not the Malfoy thing again!

Sirius: What is it with you lot?

James: *smiling* It's a Potter thing.

* * *

**A/N: Hello to anybody out there reading this! First of all I'd like to thank you all for liking, favouriting, following, reading and reviewing. I'd like to apologise for not replying to the reviewers too, I do appreciate them really. But the main point of this little authors note is actually to ask you lot if there are any questions you'd like to ask any of the HP characters, if so I'll do my best to type it up. Anything you can think up, no matter how ridiculous, will be welcomed. Let me know.**


	23. Chapter 23

Interviewer: What's the best thing about Sirius?

.

James: His ugly face makes me look even better by comparison.

Remus: Easy to manipulate, especially if it's into doing something stupid.

Peter: If you get in trouble you can blame Sirius and everyone will believe you.

Sirius: Nice to know you idiots think so much of me *walks off*.

.

Interviewer: Now what do you really think?

.

James: Sirius is the kind of guy that will always have your back, he's a better man then he should be and he will always surprise you. He's my best friend.

Remus: He's the type of person who can pull off the impossible, he can do anything and it's amazing. I don't know what we'd do without him.

Peter: Sirius always trusts you no matter what, sometimes he's… not very nice, but he'll always believe you when you tell him something, even if it's a lie.

James: …I think the best thing about Sirius is… *deep breath* some people will fight for you until there's no hope left… and others will fight beyond even that. Sirius is one of those people. And that's what makes him great.

Sirius: HA! I was eavesdropping! Knew you lot thought I was awesome! I rule!

* * *

**A/N: I'll try to get onto requests soon but for now I'm battling the monster named Need-Money-For-Uni so I don't have a lot of free time, as always thank you for reading**


	24. Chapter 24

Interviewer: So Ron, if you had to choose between chicken and the Chudley Cannons, what would it be?

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Ron: Uh… um... uh… chick- no, no the Cano- I mean- chicken, definitely chicken… no I changed my mind-!

Harry: Why is Ron so red?

Hermione: He's having trouble choosing between his two loves.

Ron: *Muttering unintelligibly*

Harry: *Incredulous* And he didn't choose you right away?

Hermione: *Flatly* It's between chicken and the Chudley Cannons.

Harry: Oh… Pick chicken the Cannons suck!

Ron: Shut up Harry, I'm trying to concentrate!

Hermione: Idiots.


	25. Chapter 25

Interviewer: Lily, have you ever been attracted to Sirius?

.

Lily:…

Mary: Um hi, I'm Lily's friend, I'm sorry but, uh, Lily can't talk right now, she seems to be laughing too hysterically to actually stand up… or breathe.

Sirius: Hurtful!


	26. Chapter 26

Interviewer: Sirius, if you were James' best man at his wedding, what would you say in your speech?

.

Sirius: *Thoughtfully* Here lies James. Lazy roommate, half-assed friend, idiot at best.


	27. Chapter 27

Interviewer: Erm... I'm running out of questions here... oh I got one! Remus, would you ever allow yourself to be kidnapped because Sirius was bored?

Remus: *Sigh* Already done.

Sirius: That was a fun Saturday.

Remus: *Mumbling* I'm meant to be the SMART one. Just don't say I never do anything for you.

Sirius: I would never say that!

Remus: You said it last week you ungrateful git!

Interviewer: And I thought that was a random one...


	28. Chapter 28

Interviewer: Do any of you really trust Sirius?

Remus: Are you kidding? He once rolled into a Death Eater's house-

Sirius: -lair-

Remus: -whatever, and confronted a bunch of Death Eaters in a wheelchair with a concussion after having been hit by a CAR, in an attempt to save us.

James: *Grinning* He's mental alright. The most reliable person I know in the most unreliable way. You never know what this git's up to but you can always count on him to come through.

Sirius: *Smugly* Aw I think James is in love.

Remus: Although... we wouldn't have needed rescuing if you'd shown up on time and Peter hadn't panicked and vanished.

Peter: I'm sorry!

Sirius: I was hit by a car!

James: That was an hour after we were supposed to meet up! And it was because you were plastered and apparated into the middle of a busy street.

Sirius: There's a thought. Drunk, in a wheelchair and with a concussion, I still put up a better fight than you three put together.

Remus: You were knocked unconscious by your cousin.

Sirius: But we still got out of there! I call that a win. *Grins*


	29. Chapter 29

Interviewer: So Fred, George, how would you describe the Weasley kids?

.

Fred: Well… you can't spell Billd-a-bridge-and-get-your-sexy-ass-over-here without Bill.

Bill: Gee thanks Fred?

Percy: That's not how you spell build Fred.

.

George: You can't spell Charlieton without Charlie

Charlie: Is that supposed to be charlatan? I'm not a charlatan! Why does Bill get sexy and I get charlatan?

George: Technically Bill got build.

Charlie: Technically you're an idiot.

Percy: Charlieton? Charlieton?! That's not even close!

.

Fred: You can't spell Percyverence without Percy.

Percy: *Eye twitch*

Ginny: What's wrong with Percy?

Charlie: He's conflicted.

Ron: Why?

Bill: He likes the word he got but the spelling's killing him.

George: You ok Perce? You look constipated.

Percy: I'm fine!

Fred: Haha right.

.

George: You can't spell Fredtacular without Fred

Fred: Pathetic! Though you are right. I am Fredtacular, nobody will ever be able to compete with my Fredtacularibility.

Percy: I give up.

George: Ok that's enough out of you. Should have said Fredat head.

Fred: Fredat head?

George: Fat head.

Ron: Makes sense.

George: Hey! Don't insult my twin!

.

Fred: You can't spell Georgeous without George.

George: Well I always knew I was fit.

Fred: Georgeous means massive git.

George: In what language?

Fred: Foreignese.

George: Fair enough.

.

George: You can't spell Ronstoppable without Ron.

Ron: *Grins*

Fred: Aw look, Ickle Ronniekins is pleased.

Ron: Shut up.

George: And another fantastic retort by Ronald Weasley ladies and gentleman.

.

Fred: And you can't spell Ginervravitis without Ginny.

Ginny: Gingivitis? Gingivitis?!

Ron: Uh oh.

Bill: Well this can't be good.

George: Clear the room everybody!

Fred: Ginny's gunna blow!

Percy: Even I know how this is going to end.

Charlie: *Sigh* I'll get the mop.

* * *

**A/N: I really have no idea where this came from...**


	30. Chapter 30

Interviewer: What's a sure fire way to annoy Remus?

.

Remus: Why?! Why would you ask that?!

Sirius: Can't think of anything.

James: Oh well, guess we'll just have to give up.

Peter: Surely you can't be serious?!

Remus: Oh God, here we go.

James: Of course I'm serious! And don't call me Shirley!

Sirius: You're not Sirius, I am! And if I ever saw a Shirley then surely it's you!

James: Surely Shirley's serious Sirius.

Sirius: Surely Sirius' serious about Shirley' sure seriousness.

James: Shirley's surely seriously Sirius because serious Sirius' sure about Shirley.

Sirius: Surely Sirius is seriously sure about Shirley's surely serious Sirius when seriously sure about Shirley.

Remus: I hate all of you.

James and Sirius: High five!

* * *

**A/N: Most of this is nonsense and I hope you'll forgive me for overdoing the Marauders. I just love writing them. Hopefully I'll get you're requests done soon I'm just in the process of moving for uni so I've been super busy.**


	31. Chapter 31

Interviewer: So how did you two fall in love?

.

Audrey: Well who could resist such a fine specimen of a man? Have you not seen his suspenders?

Percy: Audrey be serious please. The nice interviewer asked us a question, the least you could do is answer honestly.

Audrey: I was being honest! Honestly! *Pauses* His grumpy boss act was adorable too.

Percy: *Blushing* It wasn't an act!

Audrey: So that's why you got mad when my three hundred word superior evaluation just said 'Percy Weasley is a sexy beast' over and over again.

Percy: Audrey!

Audrey: Percy!

Percy: *Blushing* Can't you retain just one shred of propriety?

Audrey: Hmmm… No.

Percy: *Standing* That's it! I'm going home.

Audrey: You know I love you love.

Percy: Yeah, yeah… *Pauses* Aren't you coming?

Audrey: *Smiles* Of course I am dear.


	32. Chapter 32

**Uni takes a not so surprisingly large amount of time out of writing...**

* * *

Interviewer: What's Remus' best kept secret?

.

Peter: Er…

.

James: He hates ice cream.

.

Sirius: He's not above pantsing you when you're talking to a pretty girl.

.

Peter: He's the only one James and Sirius sometimes listen to.

.

James: He will beat you to death with your own arm if you go near his chocolate supply.

.

Sirius: Can talk anyone into anything and still come out looking innocent.

.

Peter: He's nice so people never know what he can do.

.

James: Master manipulator.

.

Sirius: Secretly evil.

.

Lily: Don't be silly Remus is a sweetheart he'd never do any of that, you lot are just making stuff up as usual. Idiots.

.

Remus: *Evil grin* I'm underestimated.


End file.
